WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?

I SWEAR THAT THE TESTIMONY I AM ABOUT TO GIVE IS THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, SO HELP ME GOD.


We had to have "the talk" with Joey.
It was inevitable. I took the lead, and Mark was supposed to be back-up. I told her that Mommy was going to have a baby; that there was a baby in my tummy. This made some sense to her, because one of her teacher's from school had just gone on maternity leave, so Joey had had 4 months to watch her tummy grow big and hear that there was a baby inside there. 


Joey: "Is Daddy going to have a baby too?"
Mommy: "No, Daddies don't have babies. Only Mommies have babies. But Daddy helped Mommy make the baby."
Joey: "Daddy helped make the baby? Did he hammer it?"
Mark: (grinning and giggling) "YES I DID!"


(Okay, explanation needed: Joey received her very own pink toolbox for Christmas. So she knows that when Daddy "makes" something, he uses a hammer and nail. )


There was more conversation, explanation, questions and answers between Joey and I. There was also more muffled laughter coming from behind the pillow that Mark had his face buried in. We came to another sticking point: Daddy and Joey want a girl, but Mommy wants a boy. 


Joey: "But you already have a boy." (Patting Daddy's knee and looking at him.)
Mommy: "No, Daddy is not my baby! I want a baby boy!"
Joey: "You want a baby daddy?"


And with that, even I gave up.