THIS LITTLE PIGGY

I'd like to start off by saying Dude, you can't make this s#$% up.

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Only Mark can.

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So, Mark gave Joey a bath last night. As he was dressing her for bed, he tried to play "This Little Piggy" with her like I always do. Except he doesn't know the words. The following is a close as I can come to what he said. It is not word for word, but more like a feel. It is not as good as the original.

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The voice he used was cheesy Italian. Think Enzo the baker from Godfather.

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Noowwww, we have em' some piggies! These a piggies, they a gonna do some s#$%. Thisa little piggy... I don't know, she a went a some where. Shopping. Market. Somewhere.

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Thisa little piggy, she don't ah eat ah anything. No, wait. we're ah not there yet! Thisa piggy, she ah don't go no where. The other little piggy ah went ah shopping, thisa one stay home don't do shiiiiiittttt!

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Thisa little piggy, she ah ate meat. Beef. She hada some roasta beef. And she likey it. It taste Gggoooood!

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And thisa little piggy, I don't know, she ah did crystal meth. Yeah that some f#$% up shiiiittt! (Accent changed to Ghetto for a second.)

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And thisa little piggy said "I'm outta here" and ran all ah da way ah home. That's it. THE END!

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Joey just stared at him.