FUNNY STORY ABOUT A WOMAN AND A HOSE...

Actually,

Turning hoses on people is kinda a family tradition.

About 32 years ago, my father came to pick up my mother for a date. It was the first time he was going to meet her parents. He was dressed nicely for dinner. He saw Peggy's mother watering the flower garden so he walked up to her and introduced himself.

Jim: "Hello Mrs. Higgins, I'm Jim Craven."

Loretta: "Hmmph. You've got some balls."

Jim: (paused for a second, clearly surprised) "I beg your pardon?"

Loretta: Coming so close to me, when I got a hose in my hand."

Jim: (smiling now) "Oh, you wouldn't squirt me!"

Loretta then turned around and proceeded to spray Jim with the garden hose. So Jim, naturally, took the hose from her and put it down her pants. I must remind you at this point, this is the FIRST TIME THEY MET!

Jim walks inside the house and begins to dry off in the kitchen. Peggy walks in and takes in his appearance.

Peggy: "What happened?!"

Jim: "Your MOTHER turned the hose on me!"

Peggy: (slightly laughing now) "No!"

At about the same time, they turned to look at Loretta, standing on the other side of the kitchen window, on the porch. Loretta takes the hose that is still in her hand and squirts it through her OWN kitchen window, to get them both wet, and a good portion of her kitchen along with them.

That is the first time my Grandma & Father met.

So you see, I come by it quiet naturally.