I AM SERIOUS, AND DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY!

The title is a quote from the movie Airplane.

If you didn't know that, your pop culture Intelligence Quotient is non sufficient. Definitely before the 70 retard line. Go out and rent the movie now; it's funny, it's a classic, you'll enjoy it, and you'll have a sudden dawning of comprehension to a whole bunch of jokes you've heard that you didn't understand.

JOEY is going on her first airplane ride!

Joey and I are leaving tomorrow for Ohio. My mom and dad wanted to see the leaves change and so I, being my family's travel agent, was called.

So today I am packing and prepping. Tomorrow I will be a mom, a baby and a bunch of luggage trying to get through security.

That thought is so ugly or scary for some it's almost worth turning around now, isn't it?

But Joey is an amazingly well behaved, good temperment baby and I'm pretty good planner so this should work out.

Some tidbits about flying with babies that I have learned in the past couple of days:

1) The baby needs ID. -- Bring her birth certificate.

2) You can bring formula and baby food through the security check, you will just have to declare it.

3) Children under 2 years of age can ride for free if they ride on your lap. Limit one child per lap. So if you are Catholic or the Duggars, you're going to have to buy some seats for the older ones or put one on your husband's lap. Maybe that is a good way to get to the know the person sitting next to you:

"Hi nice to meet you. Wanna hold my kid for the next 3 hours?"

4) Besides the 2 bags you are allowed to check, you can check a stroller or car seat for free. It kinda counts as a wheelchair; it' an assistance device. But you get only one or the other unless...

5) If you have a stroller / car seat combo, that counts as one.

6) You can use the stroller to push the kid through the airport and then check it right before you get in the airplane. When you get to your destination, they will unload it and bring it right back to the airplane entrance again so you can use it through the terminal again.

7) Airplanes do have closets. There is limited space and it is reserved for wedding gowns and business suits. However, if there is space available, you can ask them to put your little folding umbrella stroller in there.

8) IMPORTANT!! Give you baby something to suck as you take off. In my case, since Joey doesn't take a pacifier and is already weaned, she is going to have a bottle. So I need to make sure she is thirsty. Same goes for landing. That helps them to equalize their ears.

9) It is safe to give your baby a small dose, 1/2 a teaspoon, of children's Benadryl. HOWEVER, test it out before you get on the plane. A significant minority of people, young and old, have the reverse reaction to Benadryl. Instead of being knocked out (tired) they get wired. You don't want a wired baby on a plane! Infant Tylenol should probably be enough though.

I will let everyone know how it went when I get back. But before I go, a request and suggestion. When making your reservations, please try to get a seat in the back of the plane. If your sweet little baby turns into demon hell spawn in mid air, the least you could do is try to limit the number of people who are effected. That's your problem, it shouldn't be the whole plane's, and no... people should not, and do not, have to be understanding.