My Birth Story.

Miami Maternity Center likes to have their moms send them their birth stories. They share them with other expecting mothers and post some of them on their website. So here is my birth story.

Just Like My Mother

I was going to have a labor & delivery just like my mother. My mother had four natural births, the longest of which was me, her first, at 6 hours. She was back to work within a week, toting me along with her. The weight magically fell off in an absurdly small amount of time. Her father-in-law gave her a compliment only a farm boy could give; he said she was a good “brood mare.”My pregnancy was going to be picture perfect, like my mother’s. Instead, I learned one of those life lessons and had an experience that was uniquely my own.

Family Planning. Most people have come to associate those words with birth control and/or abortion. It really just means what it says; planning for a family. My husband and I did that. We waited 8 years before we tried to get pregnant. We waited so we could enjoy ourselves for a while. We waited so we could afford for me to stay home with the kids. We waited because I was only 19 when we met. It was a good thing we waited. I got pregnant the in the first two weeks that we tried. We waited until the 3rd month and after the test results came back before we told people. Just in case. Finally all the waiting was over and we were having a baby!

Well, not all of the waiting was over. We decided to wait to find out if it was a boy or a girl. My husband’s family has a tradition of surprises. I had more selfish motives. What if we were going to have a girl? What if people found out? I simply refuse to bath my child in layers of pepto-bismol fabric simply because she doesn’t stand to pee. I did not want girl clothes. What if we had a boy? I didn’t want to usher him into a career in construction, complete with dump truck/backhoe wardrobe, at the age of 1 day. So I meticulously planned my gift registry list and started dropping hints the size of atom bombs about how unsubtle I would be when opening gifts that deviated from the gift registry.

I had researched and planned a lot about this pregnancy. I started watching “House of Babies” on the Discovery Channel when my niece was born. That was 4 years ago. I read “The Complete Organic Pregnancy.” A fabulous book, by the way. I started eating right, working out, losing weight, taking pre-natal vitamins and stop taking my oral contraceptive months before we tried to conceive.

And I did have wonderful pregnancy. I only had morning sickness during my second & third month, and never actually threw up. I continued to exercise, didn’t have any weird cravings, slept wonderfully, only had 2 real “hormonal moments” and only gained 23 lbs total. I even walked all of Epcot & Magic Kingdom while 36 weeks pregnant. The front-of-the-line bathroom pass that pregos get came in really helpful there.

So all of a sudden (not really I guess. I knew it was coming for 9 months, didn’t I?) it’s 5:30 in the morning and I am awoken to a small cramping. All right! Time to go! I mean, if I am going to be giving birth in 6 hours, there are a lot of people to call and we have to get to the maternity center in time and what about traffic (on a Sunday morning ?) and oh, I better shave my legs before we go and… Can you see my husband’s face at this point? I have been in labor for 5 minutes and his to do list will easily take him 1 ½ hours to do and I want to be out the door in 15 minutes. I am so revved up, I am mentally making my body worse. The contractions had started off 20 minutes apart, but by the time I made it to the maternity center (Mark ran a few red lights, cause’ I made him) there were 5 minutes apart.

I was so sure that I was having the baby right away, I had him call ahead and tell them to get the tub ready. So when I got there, and they examined me, and I was only 2 cm dilated, I was so depressed and angry with myself and upset for being one of “those moms.” I had wanted to be a good mom in labor. I had wanted to be like my mother. I wanted to do my breathing, possibly moan a bit, but never cry out. I wanted to casually chat with my family in between contractions. I saw these dreams fly out the window when the realization sunk in that I was only 2 cm. It hurt this much, and I was freaking out this much, and this was just the beginning?

That is when Sheri saved my day. She saved my labor and delivery experience really. She had them get me some 7UP & wine. She helped me fix my breathing. She lightly rubbed my back and soothed me. I needed to calm down. I could still do this; it just wasn’t going to be the quick experience I thought it was going to be. I began to understand that my labor and delivery would not be like my mother’s… it would be my own.

I went outside and walked. My husband called off the cavalry, and then walked with me. Breathe. Walk. Breathe. Walk. Squeeze Mark’s hand. Breathe. Walk. This is how it went for about an hour. As far as I know, nothing else happened in the world for that hour. All I knew was my breath, my feet, the walkway, Mark’s hand, and the God sent blessed breeze.

When Sheri checked me again after an hour of walking (and some throwing up), I was at 4 cm. That meant that at least I was for real. I could be admitted now and get a room. I tried to eat, but it didn’t really work. We had a little concern about my ketone level, because of it, but luckily I didn’t ever have to have an IV for that. Partly, I think, because once I calmed down, and got into the rhythm of my breathing, things progressed pretty fast.

I had my entire family outside on the porch. In-laws and all. Everyone took turns coming in and visiting with me, even though I was so concentrated on my breathing I would mostly just nod, and didn’t really talk too much… a first for me. I think that is why even the guys wanted to come in, to see Michelle awake, and not talking. None of them had ever seen that before. I might as well have been a leprechaun.

So I started getting the urge to push, but wasn’t fully dilated. I was at 8 cm when Sheri came in and broke my water. Holy Shit. Xcuse’ my French. God bless those poor women who start off by having their water break. I couldn’t imagine going through labor without that bag there to soften the blow. I had one more contraction after that and was fully dilated and ready to push. So the troops were signaled and everyone gathered round. There was my parents, his parents, my brother, his brother and sister-in law and 2 of my friends. 9 people plus my husband and I. And that’s only cause’ some people were out of town and didn’t make it back in time.

After my water was broken, Mark joined me in the tub. The camera was turned on. I got my next contraction, and it was push time! All of this build up, 10 ½ hours of labor, drum roll please…….. 2/12 minutes and she was out. Dude, I am not lying, I’m not underexagerating, I have the video to prove it. I had one contraction of pushing when Sheri & Rachel helped to stretch me.
Sheri: “We got lots of dark hair here.”
Andy: “Good. It’s not mine.” (Laughter from everyone)
The next contraction the head came out, blow, blow, blow, one last push and reach down and catch my baby!
My first words: “That quickly?”
Sheri: “And I’m a …”
Me: “Girl.” “I can’t believe that’s all I had to push!”

It was 4:13 when Josephine Marie Craven-Meyers officially entered this world. It’s amazing to me how the pain just disappears. I don’t mean the pain I just went through, I remembered that. I still remember that. I don’t know about these mothers who say they forget the pain immediately. I must have a good memory. But the pain of labor ends immediately once the baby is out. It’s really amazing.
Now, I had a bleeding problem. Apparently I pushed her out so quickly, my body was having trouble sending the message to my uterus that there wasn’t anybody home anymore, go ahead and start cleaning house. Sheri eventually had to give me Pitossun and an IV for the lost fluids. My body responded nicely to that, and I was gaining color again in no time. I did have to stay the night though, for precautionary reasons.

I didn’t have a labor like my mothers. I had something better, I had my own. “Thank you”, seems so stupid when you try to use it in this sort of situation. How do you thank the person who helped bring your child into the world? Who helped you calm down and stop freaking out so you could experience this moment in your life? The women who stayed with you, THE WHOLE TIME and cleaned out your puke bucket? The woman who, in reality, saved your life when in the natural world you would have bled to death? I mean seriously, how stupid does “Thank you” sound?

I am so grateful to Sheri, Christa, and the entire Miami Maternity Center for helping my little Joey to have a wonderful birthday. And for helping me to have a wonderful birth experience. My own birth experience.