The Day After

http://www.miamimaternitycenter.net/component/option,com_events/Itemid,7/agid,25/catids,5%7C6/day,18/month,01/task,view_detail/year,2009/

The above link will take you to the pictures that the Maternity Center took of our family before we left. Joey, you will see, is in her special first outfit. And look at her proud papa!

I forgot to send this link earlier.
Sorry.

My Birth Story.

Miami Maternity Center likes to have their moms send them their birth stories. They share them with other expecting mothers and post some of them on their website. So here is my birth story.

Just Like My Mother

I was going to have a labor & delivery just like my mother. My mother had four natural births, the longest of which was me, her first, at 6 hours. She was back to work within a week, toting me along with her. The weight magically fell off in an absurdly small amount of time. Her father-in-law gave her a compliment only a farm boy could give; he said she was a good “brood mare.”My pregnancy was going to be picture perfect, like my mother’s. Instead, I learned one of those life lessons and had an experience that was uniquely my own.

Family Planning. Most people have come to associate those words with birth control and/or abortion. It really just means what it says; planning for a family. My husband and I did that. We waited 8 years before we tried to get pregnant. We waited so we could enjoy ourselves for a while. We waited so we could afford for me to stay home with the kids. We waited because I was only 19 when we met. It was a good thing we waited. I got pregnant the in the first two weeks that we tried. We waited until the 3rd month and after the test results came back before we told people. Just in case. Finally all the waiting was over and we were having a baby!

Well, not all of the waiting was over. We decided to wait to find out if it was a boy or a girl. My husband’s family has a tradition of surprises. I had more selfish motives. What if we were going to have a girl? What if people found out? I simply refuse to bath my child in layers of pepto-bismol fabric simply because she doesn’t stand to pee. I did not want girl clothes. What if we had a boy? I didn’t want to usher him into a career in construction, complete with dump truck/backhoe wardrobe, at the age of 1 day. So I meticulously planned my gift registry list and started dropping hints the size of atom bombs about how unsubtle I would be when opening gifts that deviated from the gift registry.

I had researched and planned a lot about this pregnancy. I started watching “House of Babies” on the Discovery Channel when my niece was born. That was 4 years ago. I read “The Complete Organic Pregnancy.” A fabulous book, by the way. I started eating right, working out, losing weight, taking pre-natal vitamins and stop taking my oral contraceptive months before we tried to conceive.

And I did have wonderful pregnancy. I only had morning sickness during my second & third month, and never actually threw up. I continued to exercise, didn’t have any weird cravings, slept wonderfully, only had 2 real “hormonal moments” and only gained 23 lbs total. I even walked all of Epcot & Magic Kingdom while 36 weeks pregnant. The front-of-the-line bathroom pass that pregos get came in really helpful there.

So all of a sudden (not really I guess. I knew it was coming for 9 months, didn’t I?) it’s 5:30 in the morning and I am awoken to a small cramping. All right! Time to go! I mean, if I am going to be giving birth in 6 hours, there are a lot of people to call and we have to get to the maternity center in time and what about traffic (on a Sunday morning ?) and oh, I better shave my legs before we go and… Can you see my husband’s face at this point? I have been in labor for 5 minutes and his to do list will easily take him 1 ½ hours to do and I want to be out the door in 15 minutes. I am so revved up, I am mentally making my body worse. The contractions had started off 20 minutes apart, but by the time I made it to the maternity center (Mark ran a few red lights, cause’ I made him) there were 5 minutes apart.

I was so sure that I was having the baby right away, I had him call ahead and tell them to get the tub ready. So when I got there, and they examined me, and I was only 2 cm dilated, I was so depressed and angry with myself and upset for being one of “those moms.” I had wanted to be a good mom in labor. I had wanted to be like my mother. I wanted to do my breathing, possibly moan a bit, but never cry out. I wanted to casually chat with my family in between contractions. I saw these dreams fly out the window when the realization sunk in that I was only 2 cm. It hurt this much, and I was freaking out this much, and this was just the beginning?

That is when Sheri saved my day. She saved my labor and delivery experience really. She had them get me some 7UP & wine. She helped me fix my breathing. She lightly rubbed my back and soothed me. I needed to calm down. I could still do this; it just wasn’t going to be the quick experience I thought it was going to be. I began to understand that my labor and delivery would not be like my mother’s… it would be my own.

I went outside and walked. My husband called off the cavalry, and then walked with me. Breathe. Walk. Breathe. Walk. Squeeze Mark’s hand. Breathe. Walk. This is how it went for about an hour. As far as I know, nothing else happened in the world for that hour. All I knew was my breath, my feet, the walkway, Mark’s hand, and the God sent blessed breeze.

When Sheri checked me again after an hour of walking (and some throwing up), I was at 4 cm. That meant that at least I was for real. I could be admitted now and get a room. I tried to eat, but it didn’t really work. We had a little concern about my ketone level, because of it, but luckily I didn’t ever have to have an IV for that. Partly, I think, because once I calmed down, and got into the rhythm of my breathing, things progressed pretty fast.

I had my entire family outside on the porch. In-laws and all. Everyone took turns coming in and visiting with me, even though I was so concentrated on my breathing I would mostly just nod, and didn’t really talk too much… a first for me. I think that is why even the guys wanted to come in, to see Michelle awake, and not talking. None of them had ever seen that before. I might as well have been a leprechaun.

So I started getting the urge to push, but wasn’t fully dilated. I was at 8 cm when Sheri came in and broke my water. Holy Shit. Xcuse’ my French. God bless those poor women who start off by having their water break. I couldn’t imagine going through labor without that bag there to soften the blow. I had one more contraction after that and was fully dilated and ready to push. So the troops were signaled and everyone gathered round. There was my parents, his parents, my brother, his brother and sister-in law and 2 of my friends. 9 people plus my husband and I. And that’s only cause’ some people were out of town and didn’t make it back in time.

After my water was broken, Mark joined me in the tub. The camera was turned on. I got my next contraction, and it was push time! All of this build up, 10 ½ hours of labor, drum roll please…….. 2/12 minutes and she was out. Dude, I am not lying, I’m not underexagerating, I have the video to prove it. I had one contraction of pushing when Sheri & Rachel helped to stretch me.
Sheri: “We got lots of dark hair here.”
Andy: “Good. It’s not mine.” (Laughter from everyone)
The next contraction the head came out, blow, blow, blow, one last push and reach down and catch my baby!
My first words: “That quickly?”
Sheri: “And I’m a …”
Me: “Girl.” “I can’t believe that’s all I had to push!”

It was 4:13 when Josephine Marie Craven-Meyers officially entered this world. It’s amazing to me how the pain just disappears. I don’t mean the pain I just went through, I remembered that. I still remember that. I don’t know about these mothers who say they forget the pain immediately. I must have a good memory. But the pain of labor ends immediately once the baby is out. It’s really amazing.
Now, I had a bleeding problem. Apparently I pushed her out so quickly, my body was having trouble sending the message to my uterus that there wasn’t anybody home anymore, go ahead and start cleaning house. Sheri eventually had to give me Pitossun and an IV for the lost fluids. My body responded nicely to that, and I was gaining color again in no time. I did have to stay the night though, for precautionary reasons.

I didn’t have a labor like my mothers. I had something better, I had my own. “Thank you”, seems so stupid when you try to use it in this sort of situation. How do you thank the person who helped bring your child into the world? Who helped you calm down and stop freaking out so you could experience this moment in your life? The women who stayed with you, THE WHOLE TIME and cleaned out your puke bucket? The woman who, in reality, saved your life when in the natural world you would have bled to death? I mean seriously, how stupid does “Thank you” sound?

I am so grateful to Sheri, Christa, and the entire Miami Maternity Center for helping my little Joey to have a wonderful birthday. And for helping me to have a wonderful birth experience. My own birth experience.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Wee Bonnie Lass

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Being good Irish girls, Mommy & I were decked out in green.

(Mommy had me in a greener outfit, but I didn't like it and so I threw up ALL OVER IT. This outfit does have green spots on it, but it has the pink too. Despite how Mommy feels, I like pink.)

Sesame Street is dying.

The above is in this week's TIME, Pg 15, part of the "THE WORLD" section. I find it seriously depressing. But then, I thought about it, and realized that I watched a complete Sesame Street episode in a very long time. I didn't really like it anymore. I attributed it to me growing up. But as many of you know, I haven't grown up. Not really. So why don't I like Sesame Street anymore?
Because it sucks.

Below is an opinion piece by Joel Stein for the LA TIMES. Many of you might recognize the name because he writes for TIME as well and is, by far, the funniest writer they ever feature. Here is his tongue and cheek explanation for the demise of the current Sesame Street program.
I agree 100%.
I know it seems long, but it is worth the read.
And it's funny.



Joel Stein:
Elmo is an evildoer
The self-obsessed Sesame Street Muppet is destroying all that is holy on children's TV.
Joel Stein August 15, 2006
Elmo refused to be interviewed for this column. I consider this to be a supreme act of cowardice. And it doesn't surprise me one bit. Elmo is an annoying tool.Yes, I know that children love Elmo. But children are idiots. That's why we don't let them have jobs. Could you imagine an office full of children? They'd spend all day telling dumb jokes and talking about their poop. It would be like it was before women entered the workplace."Sesame Street" -- which still has sharp, funny writing -- is being destroyed by idiot cuteness. Not only is the patronizing, baby-talking Elmo usurping most of the hour, but "Sesame Street" -- which debuted its 37th season Monday -- added its first new female Muppet in 13 years: the sparkly haired, tutu-wearing, button-nosed, pink-skinned fairy goddaughter Abby Cadabby. Her shaky magic skills get her in situations she needs to get bailed out of, like the anti-"Bewitched."Plus, she's got that creepy, throaty, little-girl Lindsay Lohan kind of voice, and a Paris Hilton-esque catchphrase: "That's so magic." When I watched "Sesame Street" in the '70s, the human cast and the Muppets were quirky adults who didn't talk down to me with baby voices. Now the human cast gets almost no airtime, and the show is dominated by Elmo, Baby Bear and, now, Abby Cadabby -- preschoolers enamored by their own adorable stupidity.The lesson they teach -- in opposition to Oscar, Big Bird, Grover or Bert -- is that bland neediness gets you stuff much more easily than character. We are breeding a nation of Anna Nicole Smiths.I am not the only one who hates Elmo. Vernon Chatman and John Lee, the creators of MTV2's dark "Sesame Street" parody, "Wonder Showzen," think the evil red one is destroying the show."Elmo doesn't grow. People show him something and he laughs. He doesn't learn a lesson," says Lee. "It's the exact opposite of what old 'Sesame Street' used to do. Elmo has been learning the same lesson his whole life, which is that Elmo likes Elmo."Chatman, who refers to Elmo as the Jar Jar Binks of "Sesame Street," worries that Elmo teaches kids to care only about themselves."Elmo is just a baby-voiced, self-obsessed character who is only concerned with Elmo," says Lee. "He just passively observes things: 'Elmo is looking at a sandwich. Elmo is eating a sandwich. Elmo is crapping out the sandwich and writing his name on the wall with it.' " The last celebrity to so obsessively refer to himself in the third person was Richard Nixon.Whereas Count Von Count markets math and Oscar markets the acceptability of negative emotions, Elmo, brilliantly, just markets Elmo, leading him to be the show's cash cow, or whatever misshapen animal he's supposed to be.I question not only Abby Cadabby but all of Elmo's associates. You may recall that Elmo testified before Congress about music education. But you may not remember who requested Elmo's appearance: Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, now in jail for taking at least $2.4 million in bribes. I'm not implying that Elmo has taken dirty money, but these are the kind of people Elmo surrounds himself with.I understand that "Sesame Street" has to compete in a Nickelodeon-Disney Channel-Wiggles-Pixar universe. In fact, the new episodes start with " 'Sesame Street' is brought to you by the following ... " and then, instead of gently mocking consumerism by listing letters and numbers, they actually show real spots for McDonald's, Beaches resorts, Pampers and EverydayKidz.com -- the last of which apparently helps children spell only if they want to be rappers.I desperately don't want the show to go away, so I know they can't afford to run the "Elmo accidentally drank bleach and died" episode. Instead, they need to simply take Elmo and his buddies and give them their own hourlong show for the idiot spawn. Then put Luis, Gordon and the cool Muppets on their own half-hour "Classic Sesame" for the kids who will one day actually contribute to our society.Whichever of the two shows you watched would serve as a convenient litmus test for the rest of your life. "Which 'Sesame Street' did you watch?" will be code on college applications, Internet dating and job applications. Blue and red states will be divided not by presidential choices, but by Grover and Elmo.If we can't save all the kids, let's at least save the ones who can master speaking in first-person. The rest we'll use for reality TV stars.

So now, my question is can you buy the golden years on DVD? Because that is what I want my children to watch.

Smiling Happy Baby!

Roll Over!

So Joey rolled over last night, unassisted, for the first time!

Yesterday morning she really looked like she was close. I had her on her back (which is the harder one to do). I pulled out the video camera and she got so close. She was really pissing herself off, the closer she got and then fell back on her back.
But then, last night I had her on her tummy at KaKi's house. She is really lifting herself up off the floor. Not just her head, but she is leaning on her forearms and lifting her chest off the floor. And then she just flopped onto her back. So easy, like she'd done it before or something!

She really is an active baby. She is always kicking and punching and swinging those arms. If you try to sit her on your lap, she just stands up. She really likes to bear weight with her legs.
I know, some of you old folks reading this are shouting "She's too young!" "You're going to make her bowlegged!" Well the doctor says no. I'm not trying to make her stand in my lap, she is doing it on her own, ask everyone else who she does the same thing to. And the doctor says it will not make her bowlegged, and a baby knows when it is ready to do something. If she wants to, then she's ready.

Whoa! That's a bright light!

Are you lookin' at me?

One of these days... POW!

Right in the kisser!

Peek A Boo

Grandma thinks I'm ready for Peek-A-Boo.

Where's Joey? ... PEEK A BOO!

Looks like Grandma was wrong.

Baby Shower Pictures

So, I realized that I never posted the baby shower pics. Here they are!

The quilt and elephant were special gifts from Auntie Ro. They are traditional family gifts from his Dad's side.

Some of you might also recognize Teddy. Mom-Mom fixed him for me as a gift. He was my concentration item during labor. He has been through everything with me!

Thanks again to Ellen for a wonderful party with amazing food! Boy can she throw a party!

In case you missed it.

For the out-of-towners who never got a chance to see it.

Here I am:

Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.